


I Will Be Your Forever

by anime_dreamer130



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Existential Crisis, First Kiss, Fluff, I'm such dan and phil trash, M/M, dan needs help, phil to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5639572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anime_dreamer130/pseuds/anime_dreamer130
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil goes into town, then an accident is reported on the news. Dan realizes that Phil won't always be a part of his life, and eventually, they will go their separate ways. To be honest, that scares the hell out of Dan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Be Your Forever

"Dan! I'm going into town for a little bit. Do you need anything?" Phil asked holding the door frame, his eyes lit up.

Dan scrolled through his twitter feed in his usual browsing position. At the sound of Phil's voice he glanced at the door and smiled. His heart fluttered as his gaze was greeted with a smile from his friend. "No thanks," Dan replied.

"Okay. Do you think I should take a taxi?" Phil said before running out the door.

"I would, it's freezing outside!" Dan suggested.

"Okay." Phil walked down the stairs and opened the door. "See you in a few!" he called before closing the door.

Dan sighed and grabbed the remote. He switched the station to the local news. It was about 4:30, so the 5:00 headlines would be on in a little while. He let the background noise feed his thoughts - specifically, his thoughts about Phil.

Phil. Phillip Lester. The name had a ring to it. It sang in Dan's head and made him smile. He imagined Phil's smile and how that smile had brought such color to his black and white life. Dan's life had totally changed from the moment he met Phil at the station. Sure, it'd been great just talking to him over the phone and email, but there was something about seeing Phil in person and being able to hug him and do silly things with him. Maybe even some day... kiss him?

Dan laughed half-heatedly at the thought. He knew that kissing Phil was a faraway dream. It would never happen. Phil probably didn't think about Dan as more than a friend. However, there were multiple instances where Dan almost confessed his love for his best friend, but that was just it. Phil was his best _friend,_ and Dan didn't want to risk ruining their friendship and possibly never seeing Phil again.

His thoughts were interrupted as the T.V.'s volume increased tremendously with the station's tune calling Dan back to reality. Dan glanced at the clock. It was only 4:47. He wondered what was going on.

A woman with long blonde hair greeted her viewers. "This just in; a major car accident involving two taxis. Both drivers and passengers were killed on sight. Authorities have not released the names of the victims, so stay tuned for more info."

Dan turned off the T.V. and sat in shock for a moment. Phil had taken a taxi to town... he hadn't left all that long ago either... what if?

Suddenly, Dan jumped up and grabbed his phone from the kitchen - God knows why it was there. He dialed the number he knew by heart and pressed “call,” and held the phone up to his ear. He waited anxiously. The phone rang once. _I hope he’s alright._ Dan thought. It rang a second time. _Please just pick up your phone._ It rang a third time. _Phil, please be okay._ It rang a fourth and final time, and an automated voice greeted him; a voice that wasn’t Phil’s.

“God dammit, Phil!” Dan shouted. He tried calling again and again, every time with the same result. Dan angrily hung up for the sixth time and shoved his phone in his pocket. Phil wasn’t going to answer.

Dan ran his hands through his hair and tugged at it, on the brink of tears. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t live if he didn’t see Phil again. It was all his fault. Dan was the one who suggested taking a taxi. He’d killed his best friend, and he never got the chance to tell him how he felt.

Finally, the tears fell from his eyes and covered his cheeks. They wouldn’t stop, and Dan let out a sob. _It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have told him to take a damn taxi, or at least I should’ve gone with him._ Dan fell to the floor and curled himself up in a ball, sobbing relentlessly. He was never going to see Phil again. He was never going to see his smile or hear his voice. He was never going to get to make another video with him. How would he tell all his viewers? He couldn’t. It would make it all real if he told them. Dan put his hand on his forehead and wept harder. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t do anything without Phil.

“Dan! I’m back!”

Dan froze. Was that-?

Phil’s shoes greeted Dan when he opened his eyes. Dan looked up and saw a worried expression on… Phil’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked extending a hand to help Dan off the floor.

Dan grasped it gratefully and stood up, enveloping Phil in a hug. Dan sobbed uncontrollably into Phil’s neck and held him tight.

“Dan?”

“There was an accident. A taxi accident on the news a few minutes after you left and you weren’t answering your phone and the reporter said that everyone was killed on sight and-“

Phil cut him off and ran his fingers through Dan’s hair soothingly. “I’m sorry, I had my phone on silent.” Dan sobbed again. “Shh, I’m here Dan, I’m here, I’ll never leave you…”

They stood in the kitchen like that for what seemed like forever. Dan never wanted to let go, and Phil didn’t have the heart to pull away. Eventually, however Phil held Dan in front of him and wiped one last tear from Dan’s cheek.

“It’ll be okay. I’m not going anywhere, Dan,” Phil said comforting him. “Do you want something to eat?”

Dan nodded, unable to speak.

“Okay, I’ll heat up some leftovers. Sound good?” Phil asked.

Dan wiped a last tear from his cheek and nodded.

“Okay,” Phil said. He gave Dan a reassuring pat on his back and walked to the fridge to start dinner.

They ate in silence in the lounge, not really paying attention to the news on the T.V. Dan pushed his food around on his plate, not really eating any of it. Phil, instead of commanding Dan to eat, was sympathetic and merely said: “Are you gonna eat that?”

Dan shook his head.

“Okay. I’m gonna take a shower. Want me to take your plate?” Phil asked standing up.

“Sure,” Dan mumbled. Phil walked over to him and grabbed Dan’s plate and headed to the kitchen. “Thank you,” he said half-heartedly.

Dan heard dishes clink in the kitchen distantly. He sighed as if a heavy weight were on his chest. Sure, he still had Phil, but what if that was only momentary?

Dan shook his head. He couldn’t think about that right now. He’d just gotten Phil back, he should be grateful that he wasn’t the one affected by the crash today, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling of Phil not being there. He just always thought they would never be apart, but today, Dan realized how quickly Phil could leave.

Dan decided to walk around the house to help clear his thoughts. He heard the shower being turned on, and he walked down the hallway, to his room, paced in his room for a bit, walked back down the hallway. Eventually he found himself in his usual “existential crisis” area. He sighed and realized an existential crisis was inevitable, so he laid down on the soft carpet and let his mind take over.

Sure, Phil was a good person, a great flat mate, and an even better friend. He had lived with him for so long, the thought of not seeing him every day hadn’t crossed his mind. But now, Dan realized that could all change in an instant. Phil could end up meeting someone and falling in love. He could love someone else and completely forget about Dan. He could start a life and get a nine to five job with a wife and kids to come home to. Dan could just end up being a distant memory to Phil. He could even completely forget about him.

Dan’s thoughts were interrupted by Phil once again.

“Dan? Is everything alright?” Phil asked quietly, lying down next to him.

Dan gazed into Phil’s beautiful, crisp blue eyes for a moment and sighed before answering. “No. Everything’s not alright.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Phil offered.

Dan sighed again, breathing in the smell of Phil’s shampoo. It was sweet and slightly fruity, and it smelled like, well, Phil.

“I don’t know,” Dan replied.

“That’s okay. We can just lay here.” Phil said.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, thoughts swimming around in Dan’s head.

“I just… I don’t want to live without you,” Dan started. “I can’t imagine a life where you’re not a part of it. The thought of that life, well, it scares the living hell out of me,” tears started falling from his eyes again. “And I don’t want to stop you from living your life, but Phil, I can’t be without you and survive. I’d probably curl up in a corner, but I don’t _want_ to be in a corner. I want to be with you because you bring me joy and color and laughter and hell, you bring me the meaning of life. I didn’t know what my life was supposed to mean until I met you. When I met you, I realized who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. Of course I still think about the inevitability of death and all that but at least I’d die knowing you. I just can’t be without you, Phil, because I am in love with you.”

The words hadn’t even rolled off his tongue before Dan realized what he’d just said. He burst into tears. Maybe because he was scared that Phil could leave him, maybe because he had kept that secret for so long and it was out there, maybe because he was just tired, but he cried. He cried and cried and cried until he thought he couldn’t cry anymore.

“Dan?” Phil asked over Dan’s sobs. “Dan?” Dan couldn’t take the fact that he was about to be rejected. “Dan!”

Realizing he couldn’t avoid it any longer, looked up at Phil to find him in tears as well. Dan realized he’d just ruined their friendship. He waited for Phil to tell him good-bye. Thanks for the memories, see you around.

Phil looked like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Dan stayed quiet, nervously awaiting the end of their friendship.

Phil sighed, and… laughed? “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”

Dan was in shock. He watched as Phil laughed and cried and his eyes were lit up with joy.

Dan sniffled. “What do you mean?”

“Dan, I’m not very good at putting my feelings into words, but I’ve been waiting so long to tell you the exact same thing!” Phil laughed. “I’m almost 29 years old, and I’ve spent my golden years with you, and they were the best years of my life. I never planned on leaving you. I always imagined I’d be with you forever.”

Dan stared at Phil. “So what you’re saying is-?”

“Daniel James Howell, I love you!” Phil exclaimed.

Dan, in slight shock, laughed and more tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t know what to say, but he knew Phil would say it for him.

However, this time was different. Instead of saying anything, Phil grabbed Dan’s face gingerly and pressed his lips against Dan’s. Dan’s heart leapt with joy and he eagerly kissed him back, hugging him close. They sat like that for a minute, in each others arms, kissing passionately for what seemed like forever.

Sure, Dan had ruined their friendship, but with what he ended, he began a beautiful, loving, relationship.

 

 


End file.
